Lately I have noticed many of my friends from both college and high school taking the plunge and getting married. Weddings are beautiful. The happiness, love, and togetherness are evident. However, some might call me a cynic others a realist, but either way I feel as though most people today picture their lives on the wedding day, not on the days, weeks, and years following. Some call it the “happily ever after,” I choose to call it the “to be continued.”
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that everyone that is getting married now have lost their minds. I’m simply saying that maybe we should all think realistically about what happens after the honeymoon. I say all that because Jason and I have been getting a lot of flak for a recent decision we have made.
We have decided we want to live together before we get any more serious about marriage. To me marriage is very serious and I do not want to enter into that kind of commitment without being completely positive that he is the one I want to spend my life with. We both know that if we do choose to get married it will be a “divorce is not an option marriage.” So, clearly with this being how we plan to have a marriage we have to be absolutely sure we want to be together forever. People also seem to assume that since Jason and I want to live together that it means we just want to shack up together. Heaven forbid people actually realize that it’s because we never get to see each other as it is, so by living together we will get to see each other more.
Another issue others seem to have with Jason and I is the fact that we have a slightly unconventional relationship. We don’t believe in labels. Ultimately, yes he is my boyfriend and I am his girlfriend we just don’t use those terms. Most seem to confuse this as not being able to commit. Quite the contrary, we are very committed to each other. Just because I don’t call him my boyfriend doesn’t mean I don’t love him. Just because I don’t call him my boyfriend doesn’t mean I’m not sure he is the one. Just because I don’t call him my boyfriend doesn’t mean I don’t want to grow old with him.
Some of you may be thinking why I even care what other people think. I wonder why sometimes myself, then I’m reminded when someone asks us why we don’t just call each other boyfriend/girlfriend, or why haven’t ya’ll gotten married yet, or why do you guys want to live together? Sometimes I just want to tell people to butt out. Maybe I will next time because, honestly, I’m just tired of explaining things to people who try to make it their business.
